The most terrifying thing happened during a diaper explosion amid #DiaperWipeShortage--the discovery of having only one tiny diaper wipe remaining. I hope you enjoy this post I pulled out from the Vault--back from the diaper days.
So the first warning sign that I might be in trouble was the fact that I could smell it before I even opened the door.
But the fatal mistake wasn’t that I walked in with an air of confidence—as having two kids in diapers I was by now a professional diaper changer. Nor, was it that I happened to be without a required third arm that would make diaper changes go so much smoother. I didn’t realize the extent of my predicament even when I wrestled my wiggling baby boy and had him pinned down with two chubby feet held with my left hand and the diaper unveiled with my right, displaying an extensive mass that made me question how so much poop could come out of such a tiny body.
NO, the problem wasn't discovered until I reached into the wipe container and kept reaching and reaching further and deeper inside only to discover to my horror a very big problem—only ONE wipe remained to clean it up!
Deception! That’s why diaper wipe containers should be clear and not opaque so you can see how many wipes are left! What’s a mother to do? Choices, choices! Do I run into the other room and search for something? If I did he would surely grab the poop and have it all over himself. If I pick him up to perhaps carry him to the tub, it will be all over me. Been there done that. I even briefly contemplated if I should use his pants that were just lying there on the bed calling out to me, “Here I am, use me. No one will ever have to know.”
Well, I was determined not to be defeated by the daunting and notorious Mr. Poopie and somehow, someway, make this one partially shriveled and dried wipe do the job. So there I stood, baby, diaper explosion, one wipe and me. I began swiftly folding each little crevice and corner, reusing every little spot of clean surface area on this one little wipe. I felt like I was trying to both master the art of origami and manipulate the laws of geometry: perhaps somehow I create more surface area by folding and refolding and refolding until that one little wipe was compressed into a brown minuscule ball.
Thirty Eight folds later! Call it desperation or determination, but this was victory! And, yes, it was also all over my hands too. But the point is baby got a clean bottom and Mommy did it with only one wipe. Now that’s how we do it. How do you do it?